Why Men Struggle to Ask for Help
June 16th 2026
For generations, men have been taught that strength means independence. From a young age, many boys hear messages like “man up,” “don’t cry,” or “deal with it yourself.” Over time, these ideas become deeply ingrained, shaping how men respond to stress, emotional pain, and even serious mental health challenges.
While conversations around mental health have become more open in recent years, men are still significantly less likely to ask for support. According to the Mental Health Foundation, only 32%-36% of referrals to NHS talking therapies are for men.
Whether it’s stress, anxiety, burnout, relationship difficulties, or depression, too many men feel they must carry the weight alone.
The pressure to “be strong”
Society often celebrates men who appear resilient, composed, and self-sufficient. Vulnerability, however, is sometimes incorrectly viewed as weakness. Research published by the World Health Organisation found that cultural expectations around masculinity preventing men from reaching out and seeking support until they reach a crisis point.
Silence doesn’t mean everything is fine
One of the biggest misconceptions around men’s mental health is that if someone isn’t talking about their struggles, they must be coping well. In reality, many men express emotional distress differently.
Instead of openly discussing how they feel, struggles may appear as:
- Irritability or anger
- Withdrawal from family and friends
- Overworking
- Increased alcohol or substance use
- Changes in sleep or energy
- Loss of motivation
Research shows that men are more likely to use alcohol or drugs as coping mechanisms and often throw themselves into work or other distractions rather than discussing how they feel.
Why asking for help feels so difficult
There isn’t one single reason men avoid support. For many, it’s a combination of upbringing, cultural expectations, fear, and uncertainty.
Some common barriers to reaching out for support include not knowing how to talk about emotions, worrying about being judged, and feeling that they should “just cope” on their own.
For some, past experiences where vulnerability was dismissed can make it even harder to open up, while others may avoid seeking help because they believe other people have it worse than they do.
Research highlighted by the UK Government men’s health strategy found that men are significantly less likely than women to seek psychological support following self-harm or suicidal thoughts.
At the same time, many men also struggle with access, stigma, and feeling misunderstood when they do attempt to seek support.
The importance of normalising support
Seeking help is not weakness it’s self-awareness.
Just as we would seek professional support for a physical injury, mental and emotional wellbeing deserve the same level of attention. Opening up can improve relationships, reduce stress, and create healthier ways of coping with life’s challenges.
Importantly, when men speak openly about mental health, it also gives permission for others to do the same. Honest conversations help break down stigma and create a culture where support is seen as strength, not failure.
Asking for help doesn’t have to start with a therapy session. It may begin with talking honestly with a friend, taking time to prioritise wellbeing or learning healthier coping strategies.
You don’t have to carry it alone
If you or someone you know is struggling, support is available. Reaching out can feel difficult, but it can also be the first step towards feeling more in control, understood, and supported.
Phillips Wellbeing provides professional, compassionate support for individuals looking to improve their mental health and overall wellbeing. Whether you’re dealing with stress, anxiety, burnout, or simply finding life overwhelming, the team is here to help.
Take the first step today and start the conversation. Email or call us directly:
T: Newport 01633 254646
T: Cardiff 029 2192 1545